Difficulty

Here I am, sitting on my couch; two cats and Fight Quest in the background.

I wish I was really good at fighting... Honey, I know you're going to read this sometime this week or sooner or later and I say it before you do; I'm a nerd. :p

Lauren and I started our Christianity in Contemporary Culture this past weekend. Limme tell ya, mind officially blown! I thought it was going to be all about the Lutheran doctrine, and honestly, I wasn't looking forward to it. However, what I failed to realize is that not everyone in our class is Christian, if any. So, with the very small amount of time we had over Saturday and Sunday, Pastor Rosow taught us all he could.

He said that he wanted us to wrestle with some of the material that he was teaching and what we were going to be researching. I am totally wrestling with the topic of death and suffering. I know what the Bible teaches us about death and suffering and I kind of know what society thinks, but now I need to know what I think. Here's where I've hit a wall...

Death and Suffering.

Law of Causality

The relationship between causes and effects. A fundamental law to all natural science, especially physics.

That very sentence has been something that has crossed my mind ever since I was given the task to research it. I've been letting it just sit in my mind. I really want to be able to understand this, understand so well that I want to be able to explain it to someone. However, its such a complicated subject...

On Distant Shores...

I was driving down the 133 from work; thinking. I think thats the best part of my work week. The drive home from work. A friend posted a status on Facebook about how ugly California is. It is. But there are certain parts of it that are just amazing to drive past. Take Trabuco Canyon for example. Once you get past Saddleback Church, biggest church in all of California, I'll have you know... Its like you've left California.

Which is why I kind of pasted this song by the late and great Five Iron Frenzy. This song reminded me of the countless drives we used to make down El Toro and into Modjeska Canyon. Drives down the PCH; Endless summers. Waking up to Maury and Jerry Springer... Ha ha. I guess I just summers where I didn't have to do anything. Where I was so bored out of my mind by myself and with others. :SIGH: Good times.

Kind of off topic, lately I've found myself wanting to update this more often. Seeing that I've got at least two followers... :) (Honey, I love you. Thank you for reading what I have to say).

You know? Maybe this time around I can update this blog site with meaningful things. Not update it just for the sake of updating. Something I'll have to work on: COMMAS.

Enjoy.

I have been scarred so deep by life and cold despair,
and brittle bones were broken far beyond repair.
I have leveled lies so deep, the truth may never find.
And inside my faithless heart, I stole things never mine.

If mercy falls upon the broken and the poor,
Dear Father, I will see you, there on distant shores.

I have toiled for countless years and ever felt the cost,
and I've been burned by this world's cold,
like leaves beneath the frost.
On my knees I've crawled to You, bleeding myself dry.
But the price of life is more, than I could ever buy.

And off of the blocks,
I was headstrong and proud,
at the front of the line for the card-carrying, highbrowed.
With both eyes fastened tight,
yet unscarred from the fight.
Running at full tilt, my sword pulled from its hilt.
It's funny how these things can slip away,
our frail deeds, the last will wave good-bye.
It's funny how the hope will bleed away,
the citadels we build and fortify. Good-Bye.

Night came and I broke my stride,
I swallowed hard, but never cried.
When grace was easy to forget,
I'd denounce the hypocrites,
casting first stones, killing my own.
You would unscale my blind eyes,
and I stood battered, but more wise,
fighting to accelerate,
shaking free from crippling weight.
With resilience unsurpassed,
I clawed my way to You at last.
And on my knees, I wept at Your feet,
I finally believed, that You still loved me.

Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World,
burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Yours,
only You can make every new day seem so new.

Third time's a charm

More like thousandth time...

I always find myself typing www.blogspot.com right into the search engine. I type at least 3-4 sentences in this blank space and then CRTL A to highlight everything and hit DELETE. Why? Well, usually because its time for me to hit the hay. Also because I spend all day in front of a computer and typing without a wrist pad hurts. So, I guess it doesn't really make any sense to update this anymore.

However-

I enjoy blogging. About what you ask? Nonsense. I find myself Asking questions to some audience who I think might be reading this. Ha-ha.

Hmm.. Maybe I should try putting the URL to this on my Facebook??

Sharing

I had the perfect chance to share Christ with two co-workers and I didn't... I don't know why. I think that's what kills me the most. It was right on the tip of my tongue yet nothing came out. It was like one of those dreams where you have to run, but you just can't seem to get your legs to move.

You know what sucks? That might have been my only window of opportunity. The timing was just so perfect... SIGH.

The old me..

It's time for change.

I'm unmotivated, lazy and so content in where I'm currently at. And you know what? That's not good enough. I'm tired of that. I need and want change, but not any ordinary change. The change I talk about, well thats just it, its just talk. I need action, I need to make that change a verb. Heh... Funny part is that I'm all talk. I could tell you an idea and get so excited about that idea and then just let it go.

I'm tired of that.

"Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again."

"Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
Without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Your's,
Only You can make every new day seem so new."